little boxes on the hill side...

as you wake up to find the snow melted, and that lingering feeling of childhood fading away, you turn on the stove and wait for your hot coffee...

it's one of those mornings when you tend to over-analyze everything but yourself...and you've come to realize you're no better than the rest in terms of labeling people...you put them in boxes, you think you can tell what they're thinking, where they're going through and what they expect from life...the only difference is that you have a crisp view of the picture...it's not like you're just giving out an opinion...no...it's more than thatyou lived it...you are still living it now...so let's call your side of the story an inside one ;) it'll be our secret...promise i won't tell...so...are you ready to pour out your soul?

you tell me that all the men out there are split into two: 99% of them are the blissfully stupid ones that don't cause any drama but get blamed for it, and the other 1% who are smart enough to create drama...let's call them players...

now...it's a known fact women tend to search a hidden message into every single thing they see...being that a plastic bag on the street rolling around counter clockwise (why is it rolling that way? it has to mean something..but what??) so if you apply that to the 99% of blissfully stupid men who don't go around causing drama what do you get? exactly...unsolicited drama and couples who break up for no reason.

and the last topic of this morning are the other 1% who can either play their women into sweet submission...they can play the game of relationships so goddamn well and they twist and turn their sweetheart's mind and they either drive them insane and out of a relationship or they do it so good that they end up with the perfect stay-at-home wife..

it's a pretty flawless logic so far, right? can you find loophole?

i found mine ;)
may your winter be filled with hot flavorful coffee and white fluffy snow!

and remember...there's always a loophole

watch you sleeping...

I wanna join you sleeping peaceful
Feeling the sun in our room
What a plenty of rays and beaming lights
Surely, it does me good

you get everything you own packed in a suitcase, ready to move and leave it all behind...but as you're about to walk out that door you wanna catch a last glimpse of what you had, what you were and what you're walking away from...

same doubts keep you posted, you can't even move or breathe...like just another fairytale which went rotten...but you have one thing figured out...you're gonna run away...to just about any other place that isn't where you are right now...this is what you've been doing for as long as you can remember...and sometimes you got tired of running..laid down to rest and got a chance to start fresh...then it got complicated and you made it easy for everyone involved and got up and took off...sometimes you even came back to the place you ran away from...but you got really bored and turned your back on it again...

if you ever wonder if you'll ever stay..and if so...what'll get you to stay...what makes you give first and ask no questions later...wonder no more..you'll just feel it...

when the time's right, when the place feels like the home you've never had you won't be settling...you'll just settle down and do all the things you never thought you'd be doing...

as for me...i went away to find myself and found my love to grow stronger despite the distance, the fighting and all the mundane things...

no doubts...no worries...no pride...no sorrow...tons of coffee, you smiling in your sleep and me...there...to watch you sleeping...soon and for as long as you'll have me

dear nature,

i sometimes get soo pissed i swear i could move mountains if they dare stay in my way... then i remember that the mountains were there for me to protect me in times of need...
and that i'm most likely PMS-ing again...
and that the mountains were probably just hungry...
and i start to chill...
and realise i might've over reacted a bit (okay...maybe a bit more than i like to admit [yes...even to myself] but shhh don't tell anyone)
and i start feeling sorry for some things i said...some things i wish i would've done...

aaaand, even though i'm a sea-person through and through, i'm head over heels with my stubborn, hot as hell mountains...
and that's a fact...

oh...and mountains, if you by any chance read this, i know you don't usually do this, but do come home to me...or else i'm gonna reach out to settle this...behind closed doors...

xoxo

lights will guide you home...

...and i'm fixing myself

life's got a funny way to show you your place in the world...you can never know when you're about to face your heart aches...it might be a photo, or a song or a movie...and you should be grateful if it happens when you're home alone...

suddenly you are drawn to that dark little place or to that memory you tried hard to forget or you remember the people you miss the most and that are far away...

it's pretty crazy how you wanna get away from a certain place and catch yourself actually missing it...and as soon as you go back you wanna leave all over again...

and you take a leap of faith...change the scenery, the people around you, your playlist, you give up half your bad customs and you start living while being alive...and feeling it...differently every time you try another side of your story...but you keep your dear friends...you still have the smell of coffee in the morning...but most importantly you now have that sense of belonging...not to a place, not even to a person...but to the feeling those two give you...

kids, as you lay in bed tonight remember the most happy thing you've ever lived and i'm telling you that it can get better than that...so you go out there and allow yourself to feel...

sleep on it...i just woke up and a wonder awaits...

can i has it?

have you ever thought about what you're ready to give up, or to compromise or to settle with when in a relationship?

it ain't easy to find that person who'll get your heart racing like the world's about to end...and usually you don't find him/she...they find you...when you least expect it...and they turn your whole life upside-down...you start doing the things you said you'll never do, cause they come as natural and you wouldn't have it any other way...

remember how it's a known fact that you should be like really careful with what you wish for?but extra special careful...cuz...that's right...you might just get it...and i can assure you that when you get it [not IF but WHEN...cuz you will actually get it]you won't have the slightest clue what hit you...and it'll catch you completely off guard...and it'll blow you away in ways you didn't even think possible...and, at the same time, it'll put things into such perspective..everything will just fall into place and make perfect sense...and if you've wished for the right stuff it's gonna be a hell of a right, having all your being challenged in a way you never thought it could...

now...if you're a person that easily gets bored [like i do] this'll make you jump up and down with joy cuz you'll never experience a dull moment for as long as you embrace what just hit you...

so kids...be careful what you wish for...cuz my wish came true

bulletproof

funny the way it is when you get yourself drawn into the most amazing thing that's happened to you in a while...

even funnier how you get to feel that warm feeling inside that even coffee couldn't give you...

you wake up one morning to the smell of butterflies and having your chest almost burst open with excitement...you only have one day till your finals are over...the summery feeling that was crawling at you,now really got the best of you...pretty dresses...nice shoes...no more smoking...tons of coffee...ice-cold water...

as for me...i'm as happy as i've ever been...and it took a wonder to get me where i am now...

i've made up my mind...

...i'm calling it quits on the whole i-don't-give-a-fuck thing...because i do...every day i give a fuck...and i'm begining to give more than a fuck...so...this is me telling the world i'm out there...still hoping for the best...very much in love...with life and its disasters...

this is my way of showing i care...and me giving up my mask...at least sometimes...and in front of you...i might not be able to tell you every day how much i care...cuz i might not find the words to describe what i'm feeling...i might freak out and act like a total bitch...i might even be more stubborn than usual...but you can buy me with a smile...you can sacre away my fears while being in your arms...and whisper your feelings into my soul...

drop by anytime...i'm open now...

things i'll never say...

i won't tell you how much and what i feel about you...
you'll never know how nervous you get me sometimes...
...or how i feel like i'm melting when you lean over to kiss me...

i keep on searching words inside my head...and everything i say comes out wrong...
you'll never know i'd do pretty much anything to keep you happy...proud...safe...

and as my words keep hiding from me...i eagerly bring them to surface...finding the right way to say what i want...

except there's is no right or wrong in my world...there are only feelings...and sometimes i wonder if it's real...all this that i'm feeling...is it love or just infatuation...

anyhow...guess you'll never know i'm falling...deeper and harder...

and you guys out there...keep your mouth shut about this post...cuz these are things that i've never said :P

heavy on my heart

Everyone's got baggage...and the trick is how you deal with it...yours as well as the people around you...it'd be awesome to check them in a safety deposit box and not have to carry them around...i mean if it's a small one...sure...drag it around...say it's only THAT small...say it won't get in your way...but what happens when things get stuffy and you shove just one more little thing in that suitcase?

well...how about when you've spent your whole life building up a person...or a certain side to that person...and now all you want is to make that go away...be better...different...but still YOU...or at least that part of you you like...

as for me...i''ve been having a hell of a ride these past few days...
catch'ya later...

running up that hill

urasc zilele de marti
urasc serpii
urasc sa mi se termine cafeaua de dimineata
urasc sa ma trezesc mai devreme de 10AM[in caz de nevoie...trebuie sa snooz-ui telefonu cam 2ore inainte]
nu pot sa merg decat cu spatele in tren
nu-mi pun geanta pe jos niciodata
imi las lucrurile imprastiate [dar e un haos atat de controlat :) ]
prefer sa ajung cu 5min mai repede decat mai tarziu la o intalnire
prefer coca cola [pepsi sucks]
imi place sa-mi aprind o tigara la cafeaua de dimineata...
imi place sa-mi astern sufletul in 0 si 1

imi place sa nu dorm singura, sa mi se faca masaj, sa mananc tone de ciocolata si, imediat dupa, ceva sarat
imi place sa ma agat de gatul tau..sa-mi gadili coastele...sa ma tragi de par...

ador aburii de cafea ce-ti invaluie privirea dimineata, si pe tine atat de aproape de mine...

what makes you tick?

Definitely soulstorming

Have you ever walked through a room
And it was more like the room passed around you?


Have you ever began to run out of excuses to be happy and you got to the point you didn't need to wear a mask from 9 to 5?

It's like you can't believe that day has finally arrived... It finally happened...coffee's all delicious again...You found that impulse you needed to get over yourself and waking up early doesn't seem like the most horrible thing in the world...

Funny thing when you come clean with yourself...even funnier when you begin doing that as a last resort..and a total surprise when it took a wonder to get you to do it...


And the strangest of all is how you stupidly believed your life couldn't possibly get any better...well... Here's your wake up call...it's almost morning...stop wondering and embrace it...

Rise and shine little wonder!

love me, feed me, never leave me

... and make me coffee

Good morning Upper West Sidders, it's your one and only source of insightful thoughts of love, hate and other disasters...

Enough chit chat..it's time for some storytelling...

This is the story of a girl who dared to dream big...ever since she was a little girl all she ever wanted was to grasp that feeling of happiness and fullfilment you only heard of but never felt...she began by searching love in all the wrong places...she gave her heart to total strangers and got it back in bits and pieces...but everytime she got right back on that horse, without losing hope...

After several bad trips she got to the point of wondering wether or not all the heartache was worth it...

PAUSE


Remember all the drama? all the times you wanted to say "fuck it"... all the times you told every single person that came near you to go fuck him/her/themselves...or at least you meant to say it...

RESUME

she fell in and out of love...with all the wrong people in all the wrong time frames...She got her heart broken one too many times, bit she still fought for the type of love she knew was possible... the type of love that makes your heart leap with joy, your stomach twist and turn, your mind go blank and coffee taste better...and she was so close to that it almost hurt... Little did she know there are strings attached and there is more to it than butterflies in her stomach...

To make the long story short...as you read she's living it...

as for me...my coffee never tasted better...

now you kids go out and play...

pure morning

did you ever wake up to finding a complete stranger lying next to you? and as that happened...did you get outta bed running for dear life? then stopped as you climbed down the awkward stairs and lit up your cigarrette in the hallway...your heart racing and your mind trying to put all the pieces together, while wondering what the fuck happened....

on the other side of town a fairy pixie opens her eyes to the most amazing feeling...being there...in that particular bed and in no other, waking up to the smell of freshly made coffee, already having a smile upon her face which could only grow bigger and bigger while she hears her thoughts spoken out loud by a familiar vice behind her...no wonder she's smiling...

little girl...put out that smoke...catch a cab...and get your silly little ass home...and next time open your eyes before you spread your legs...

as for me...this morning is surely looking nothing but up and it's the purest lately...

waiter, coffee on me for everyone...

XO XO, gossip girl

there's nothing like opening up to someone new...or old...or reconnecting with an old friend...it's all about taking that leap of faith and putting yourself out there once again...whether it's about how bad your day's been...or how you feel...what you feel...there is a certain feeling of relief that comes with owning up to what's inside your heart...

in more than one place i've heard that it' easier talking to a stranger than to a close friend about a topic...it takes a great deal of courage gettin yourself to talk about your deepest secrets...and it means even more if you can bring yourself to share that to someone you care about...

it's funny what can make your heart twist and turn...and how butterflies tend to appear outta thin air and start flying in your stomach...

i'm all in for fun and games...but now it's time to get down to business...with every small step that i take throughout this journey...and it takes a wonder to get me down or lift me up where i belong...i'm out there...

we have to talk...

this one's for the ones who had enough...

did you ever hear those 4little words that'll make even your worst nightmare seem nothing? have you ever felt like something's wrong with you?have you ever wondered why history tends to repeat itself?

well...STOP...now's not the time to question yourself...but to find out what you truly want...analyze those patterns you see emerging once again...and make up your goddamn mind already...it's not like this'll last forever...

you see yourself facing the same lines...same excuses...same feelings...just crawling at you...from different places...you never know exactly what to expect next...and that's the beauty of it...no fucking labels...no sleepless nights wondering...if only everyone could go back to basics...

if i could, i'd do it all over again in a heartbeat...just the same...over and over and over again...no doubt about it...

as for the rest of you out there...would you? you'd be in for a treat...if you don't have the balls to do it, sure, i'll even swap places with you...

when does too much get enough?

in the end...what wouldn't a girl do for a good night's sleep and a decent cup of coffee??

i'll be waiting...time after time

well...i won't promise you a smooth ride, nor will i claim it'll always be ok...

i can assure you, though, that there will be mood swings, i will get upset and you probably won't understand why...i will need tons and tons of chocolate and hugs and kisses...

there will be ups and downs and maybe we'll even fight a lot over nothing...i'll probably get to the point where i won't be able to put my ego aside and you won't talk to me so we don't fight...we'll break up..trying to live apart..acting like we don't give a fuck if the other even exists...

but we'll find our way back...to that bench in the parking lot...in the middle of the night...cuz i'd rather swallow my pride than lose you, i'd rather go for miles back and forth than live without seeing you...

i promise we'll have tons of make-up-sex and then some more, i promise i'll be there making you coffee untill you finish your project...

i promise i'm gonna make this song sound better and better every time you replay it...

have you ever had someone tell you that what they felt for you was like a melody on repeat that you just can't get enough of?

fetish...

have you ever loved something or someone more than you could've ever imagined? the type of love so pure and honest it almost hurts? did you ever have the certainty that when you'll wake up it'll be there...waiting faithfully with it's incomparable smell...hot and willing to enter your every cell...to give you strength...to get you going on a rainy day?

i have...and i'd like to thank it for being there for me...every morning of everyday...when even i had given up hope...

thank you, my love...
thank you dearest coffee

hot and awesome

coffee by my side, almost fake and gay music in my left ear, and the spirits to conquer the world...

so here goes...

no boundaries were left intact...no laws unbroken...no whisper without an echo...

you wake up one morning to find an empty bed and what you've dreamed still there...you try to get up but somehow the memory of last nights' journey lingers...you saw it clearly...no doubt about it...felt it...and not even the fresh pot of coffee can make it go away...for the first time in years you stop searching for everyone's hidden agenda...and just embrace it...

so what if he didn't call, so what if he doesn't hold your hands at night or bring you chocolate when you're PMS-ing?! so fucking what if your life isn't like what they spoon-fed you in movies?

just remember that first time you made him smile, when he told you he likes you and how awesome you are...no labels...no worries...let it happen...

as for me... my hot and awesome self...as usual...feeling more like carrie bradshaw everyday...only better...hotter... more awesome...and always right!

fake and gay

boy meets girl

girl likes boy

boy leaves

girl gets over crush

time goes by

boy misses girl...

tha fuck?!?!

up'n running

i'll be waiting 'till the sky falls down
'till you come around
....baby

brighter side...

you let go...start to unwind for the first time in months and right after you finish your coffee and think to yourself it's gonna be a great day after all...it hits you once again...only this time it came out of the fuckin' blue...

you try to convince yourself it's not that bad...you dig deep down hoping to find the one good thing that might come of this...as i sad...you try...too goddamn much...and you don't seem able to do it...

take a sip of coffee and lay back...light that shit and pass it on...

i wake up in the morning and put on my face...

i don't wanna be...

did you ever try to do things a certain way hoping they'll turn out ok? trying to follow every one's advice and ignoring your instincts?

Stop!!!

...hang in for dear life and stop wondering if you're doing the right thing...no more external interventions...

as for me...i'm doing it my way...coping with things the only way i know...throwing in the disappointmens and taking everything else in...i'm letting myself go, cuz it's the only way i'll ever be able to find myself again...

i don't wanna be anything other than what i've been lately...

allergy

did you ever wake up to finding your eyes in tears, your nose itching and hardly being able to breathe?

undisclosed desires

you wake up one morning to find yourself all grown up, facing life with its problems, joys and responsibilities...

at the end of the day you have the boy, the love, the happiness...

and you wake up...or...better said...you're forced to wake up...cup of coffee right in front of you...no boy...love still there...fighting for happiness...

try having a healthy relationship with yourself first...then go get the boy back!!!



as for me...alone...after what seems like for ever...doing exactly the things you don't even dare to think of...and when i'm done, i'm getting my boy back!

because I CAN