i've made up my mind...

...i'm calling it quits on the whole i-don't-give-a-fuck thing...because i do...every day i give a fuck...and i'm begining to give more than a fuck...so...this is me telling the world i'm out there...still hoping for the best...very much in love...with life and its disasters...

this is my way of showing i care...and me giving up my mask...at least sometimes...and in front of you...i might not be able to tell you every day how much i care...cuz i might not find the words to describe what i'm feeling...i might freak out and act like a total bitch...i might even be more stubborn than usual...but you can buy me with a smile...you can sacre away my fears while being in your arms...and whisper your feelings into my soul...

drop by anytime...i'm open now...

things i'll never say...

i won't tell you how much and what i feel about you...
you'll never know how nervous you get me sometimes...
...or how i feel like i'm melting when you lean over to kiss me...

i keep on searching words inside my head...and everything i say comes out wrong...
you'll never know i'd do pretty much anything to keep you happy...proud...safe...

and as my words keep hiding from me...i eagerly bring them to surface...finding the right way to say what i want...

except there's is no right or wrong in my world...there are only feelings...and sometimes i wonder if it's real...all this that i'm feeling...is it love or just infatuation...

anyhow...guess you'll never know i'm falling...deeper and harder...

and you guys out there...keep your mouth shut about this post...cuz these are things that i've never said :P

heavy on my heart

Everyone's got baggage...and the trick is how you deal with it...yours as well as the people around you...it'd be awesome to check them in a safety deposit box and not have to carry them around...i mean if it's a small one...sure...drag it around...say it's only THAT small...say it won't get in your way...but what happens when things get stuffy and you shove just one more little thing in that suitcase?

well...how about when you've spent your whole life building up a person...or a certain side to that person...and now all you want is to make that go away...be better...different...but still YOU...or at least that part of you you like...

as for me...i''ve been having a hell of a ride these past few days...
catch'ya later...

running up that hill

urasc zilele de marti
urasc serpii
urasc sa mi se termine cafeaua de dimineata
urasc sa ma trezesc mai devreme de 10AM[in caz de nevoie...trebuie sa snooz-ui telefonu cam 2ore inainte]
nu pot sa merg decat cu spatele in tren
nu-mi pun geanta pe jos niciodata
imi las lucrurile imprastiate [dar e un haos atat de controlat :) ]
prefer sa ajung cu 5min mai repede decat mai tarziu la o intalnire
prefer coca cola [pepsi sucks]
imi place sa-mi aprind o tigara la cafeaua de dimineata...
imi place sa-mi astern sufletul in 0 si 1

imi place sa nu dorm singura, sa mi se faca masaj, sa mananc tone de ciocolata si, imediat dupa, ceva sarat
imi place sa ma agat de gatul tau..sa-mi gadili coastele...sa ma tragi de par...

ador aburii de cafea ce-ti invaluie privirea dimineata, si pe tine atat de aproape de mine...

what makes you tick?