come closer...

you can feel his heart beating on the right side of your back...you can't feel your own, but you feel his as yours...with every diastole you gasp for air cuz you're afraid it's gonna stop, but then...it's there...the bum...the pulse..so close...and so deep inside you...you don't even dare to breathe so you won't miss a beat...it's like the whole excitement in the world resides in this heart...so close...

it's like it's telling a wordless story of how you should tune in for the next beat, and the one after, until the end of time...then...the rhythm changes and it feels like a pat on the back, a constant reminder you're not alone and you don't need labels...the world outside of his arms doesn't exist...and you don't need it to...as long as you have everything that you need trapped in a heartbeat...

as for me...i'm turning soft...so i thought this piece of writing should get you through this rainy day...grab another cup of coffee...oh...and this one...share it with...[fill in the blanks ;)]

why does my heart feel this way?

have you ever felt like there is no feeling in the world to mask the emptiness in your soul? that heart stopping panic that keeps you from breathing...it's like if you move, your whole world'll end...but what do you do with the voice inside your head telling you to take that extra step?

it has always been about doing or not doing something...and you could find hundreds, even thousands of motivational quotes about putting yourself out there...but this is no standard text book approach..what do you do? your life seems a huge chain of irregular events...and no where in the course of history such events were ever described...it's the human infatuation...the egocentric concept that your life is different..that what you're going through is unique and harder than anything anyone has ever had to go through before...

how do you cope with your current state of nowhereness? still...you are somewhere...in an unknown place...dealing with...or at least starting to comprehend...what the fuck is going on in your life...what you once took for love was mere desire, craving, need...and now...now that you have it in front of you...within touching distance...you take baby steps in order not to scare it away...

try to keep a clear, clean, honest heart...and...for just this once...use your instincts for something other than burning down bridges...they might shed a bigger light, but they sure as hell will narrow down the big picture...

now...it's almost a quarter after one and i need you right now

if tomorrow never comes

there comes a moment when everything revolves around the decisions you have to make...whom to date, what to do with your life, how to change what doesn't feel right...

you wonder where to begin, and where to go from here, you tend to postpone making a decision thinking it'll be easier to choose later...

what if later never happens, what if you don't wake up tomorrow and you never get the chance to live how you always imagined yourself living, what if what you took for granted was gone tomorrow and you don't have the chance to properly enjoy it?

you have to stop procrastinating and get down to business...stop wondering and do...change your job, get out of that future-less relationship, start living your dream!

as for me...i'm finally there...so hold on tight boys and girls, cuz i'm going to conquer the world 

should i stay or should i go?

it's surprising how low and down one can feel at times...it's like there's a storm inside but there's no alarm button to press...

it all begins with you twisting and turning inside your head trying to find a cause to your restlesness...the digger you try to dig, the harder the surface you're scratching on...

it's a unique blend of despair, seasoned with a pinch of panic and a touch of excitement...yes...excitement...because you never know what'll come out of this...at first you don't know what to make of it...the whole not-knowing-what-the-fuck's-worng-with-you part turns into a quest of analyzing yourself to the core...breaking your every thought into pieces and then flipping it on every side...

then...after giving up and finally deciding to give it a rest...somehing happens...and, usually, the most unexpected things happen in situations like these...the "i-can't-believe-how-this-turned-out" phase is where the excitement from the prior step finds its ending...then...you tend to repeat the first step...because once again, you don't know what's wrong with you, you don't know what to do with what just happened...you don't dare to open your eyes...

as for me..i'm somewhere in between...