i got a pocket, got a pocket full of sunshine

ain't it kinda funny how you go through life hoping to be happy...sitting, waiting, wishing...

then the first thing that makes you even the least uncertain of your already figured-out-life makes you second guess every decision you ever took...i think that the second that something new comes and interferes with the orderly chaos we've created for ourselves is close to disaster...i mean...really now...who can honestly say they enjoy waking up in the morning genuinely feeling like that particular day will have a huge enough impact as to change the outcome of their entire life? i dare say every day is monumental to the twists and turns your existence endures.

and what if someone, your parents for example, has your whole life set out for you...it's like they own a part of the forest, they've already taken a part of the inconvenient trees down, built a home and started a crop...then, when you grow up, they expect you to take over what they've started and tame tiny animals, hunt on your own and start a grow house...yes...this is the point where a big "what if" gets in the way...

so...what if...you want to have your own accomplishments?what if you've always dreamed of living by the sea? what if you want to start cutting down some trees on your own and try to see what's outside the forest...what if you want to work hard...maybe harder than your parents ever had to...because you have your own dream, you've got an idea that has grown bigger and bigger into your mind and soul and whose calling you can no longer neglect...what if it's not about having your way instead of theirs? what if you put yourself through all the wilderness so you can better appreciate what they've done for you...it doesn't have to be you walking your separate way for the rest of your life...you get out there, follow your gut instinct and chase your dream...grow into the upstanding person you are and take it from there...and never forget about the spot in the forest...and someday may your path lead you back to it so you can help it thrive under your command.

as for me...i've had life coming and biting me right in the ass...although i can't quite complain...it all turned out for the best: i'm single, in love and awesome...

so everyone, coffee's on me today :)