i hope you like dreaming

there comes a moment when you realize there is no happily ever after...no matter how much you dreamed of it and wished for it to exist...there are, though, happily ever after moments...those moments when you feel like anything is possible and you're unbreakable...

but what do you do when that moment fades away into sweet oblivion and the only thing you have to wake up to is the empty reality of tomorrow?

your ideal world, where you'd somehow manage to be happy falls apart in a second...and it wasn't an earthquake that caused it...it was a stupid thing someone said...and your mood changed and your almost perfect day got ruined in an instant...

you start to analyze everything all over again...try to put the pieces back together...they don't fit anymore...maybe you grew out of your dreams or maybe they are just too out of sight...

out of touch, out of reach, facing nothing and the world at the same time...you have so little...and yet the world is yours to take over...

what's keeping you to snap out of it and fight?

as for me...i raise my glass of wine to all of you out there who do something about it...and to those who find a way...

rehab

someone once told me that being addicted to emotion is as simple as being addicted to coffee or cigarettes...come to think about it...it was true...

imagine getting so angry about something...like being angry at yourself for fucking stuff up...once again...and you promised yourself you wouldn't put yourself through that ever again...yet again...you did it anyway...

now...think about it closely...why do you keep on following the same patterns over and over again? can't you tell the difference between good and bad anymore? or was that the part missing from your world to begin with?


or maybe...just maybe...it's all about the chemistry that goes on inside yourself...the reaction to a stimuli...may that be guilt, anger, frustration[ oh yes...there are living, breathing, walking among us examples of those type of addicts], nicotine, caffeine or THC.

be it as it may...you might have to consider getting some help! there are special places with rainbows and unicorns where addicts get the care and attention they need...

so go out there and find a cure for your itch!

if i just lay here...

there's nothing like trying so hard to get something done, trying to make those words just come out of your mouth...or at the tips of your fingers, for that matter...it's like it's there, inside your head, just waiting to come out...but there simply aren't the proper words to  describe it...

it's like trying to describe the taste of coffee in the morning or the smell of summer rain...and it's sooo frustrating...how could you possibly make other people see the world through your eyes? you can make them feel or you could simply tell your version of it...but how can you be sure you got through to them? 

deep breath, light up another cigarette, stop thinking about coffee in the middle of the night and focus! not on what you wan to say bu what made you wanna say it in the first place. take a step back and look outside your circle.

take a break and resume...

the end

it's like everything you ever hoped for was being sucked out of you...every dream, every happy moment, every nice thought...you can feel the warmth of peace drifting further and further away, but you can't even get restless, because, in the end there are no feelings left...

you wake up the next day, hoping it was just a nightmare...but wait! there is no feeling of relief...no sudden joy of coming to terms with reality...just void sucking the air out of the room...as you gasp for air, you try to go to your happy place, but you get nothing...it's blank...no sunshine, no ocean, no mojito, and, the worst of it all, no coffee...you do however have one last cigarette, but you decide to save it for later...maybe you cand still find something, anything to hold on to...

it's late, everyone's tired and you've just reached the end of the rope...

as for me...i'm holding the other end...

scary monsters and fluffy puppies

who doesn't want to wake up to a Prince Charming, a hot cup of coffee and an ocean view?

instead you find yourself sleeping in the dog house again due to your complete lack of coordination...how hard could it have been to get that task ready on time? but no. it's easier to postpone up to the point when not even a time travelling machine could possibly save your sorry ass.

but on the Upper I-don't-Give-A-Fuck Side, fresh coffee is being served every 30minutes, a line of charming princes line up in front of the door, and there is a pony granting wishes to anyone who can feed it rainbows...

then you can  always go to the magical land of Mass Destruction and Denial, where every bad thought is being washed three times with pixie dust, then it's left there squicky clean to dry...after a while you'll become so used to the whole process that blocking everything out will be your second nature.

in the end it's your land of choice...what's it going to be? a fairytale gone bad, or a cold shot of reality with a twist?

as for me, i'm fine up here, inside my head, cup of coffee at hand, wishing you all a very happy daydreaming!

from desireland with love...

as crazy as it might seem, given the circumstances, what most people want is that special someone or something that makes them tick...whether it's about money, jobs or hopes and dreams, anyone can say in an instant what they don't want...ask them what they want and that's when the tricky part kicks in...

we spend our whole life meeting someone's expectations...our parents, our teachers and, when we get to our own, it seems we've suddenly grown outta place and everything turns complicated and, after all, there's always tomorrow to meet your hearts desire...

then tomorrow turns into a month, a month into a year, then years start passing by and you find yourself, on your deathbed, wishing you'd get a do-over...

H. Jackson Brown Jr. once said
"Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did."

so...get out there, and follow your hearts' desire, do whatever makes you happy, do not postpone, cuz you might not get any other chance to do it ever again..take risks...sometimes they pay off beyond your wildest dreams... as Steve Jobs once said "don't live someone else's life"

go get yourself some...[feel free to fill in the blanks with your deepest craving ]

as for me, i've been...[feel free to choose from : better, in and out of love, inside my head, sitting waiting wishing, soul searching, ..., ..., ... ]

and, finally, I wish i'd have a huge cup of coffee to comfort me and keep me warm...

shoes and other issues

it's like you have a pair of shoes..the pretty Louboutin you've dreamed for for ages...all the right things happened, you earned enough money and saved your ass off and finally got them...you gave them their special place in your closet, wear them on every occasion you get and check in on them daily, just to see if they're ok...everything goes great for a while...you might even think that that's the last pair of shoes you've ever bought...then, one day, you start checking out other shoes through the store windows...wondering how it'll be just to try them on...your Loubis will still be there for you when you get home at night, they won't mind, it's not like you're cheating on them or anything..it's just shoes for god's sake...it's not like you were supposed to settle down after the last great pair of shoes you bought...you're young, there plenty of shoes in the sea...what if another pair will fit you better, what if all you want is to be an inch higher on some Manolos??

and then...

you finally did it...someone took you off that shelf and brought you home...and such a pretty home, indeed...you've got your very own shelf now, you don't have to mix and mingle with last years' collection...you are now the only red-soled shoes on the premises...there's no way she'll ever want another pair...not even those extravagant Jimmy Choo's...until one day...she comes home, her feet feel different...they smell like something you've almost forgotten...they smell like...like...NEW SHOES..other shoes...she tried on something else...she's thinking about buying a new pair...or maybe, just maybe, she was just curious how it felt...you see no new bag, no box, no sign of intruders being brought back with her...but the smile on her face and the smell of new shoes linger...

mobile

everything is changing
when i turn around
out of my control
i'm a mobile

how do we manage to find ourselves stuck in even harder situations every time we think this time's gonna be different? take a sip of coffee before you light up that cigarette...take a step back and take a hard look at yourself from the outside...

you've always fought to keep yourself away form any type of pain...even if that turned you into a stone-cold bitch to those who had no idea who you were...but what happens when even you don't know who you are anymore...what if you got sick and tired of the game you always played in front of every one else?

so here you are now...in a place you've never allowed yourself to be in...and you try to find yourself or at least to make someone up...think really hard, little girl, who you wanna be and what it takes to get you there...

at the end of the day, take off your mask and ask yourself if all of this is worth it...

stars in their eyes

you wake up...coffee...and what seemed to fade away whilst sleeping comes back to you...you shake it off and go on with your day...you wish that you could just go to that quiet place where you don't feel despair, sadness and fear...

you see couples walking down the street, kissing, holding hands and you try to remember when it was you that happy...it might sound cliche, but it's so goddamn true: everyone only craves that fuzzy feeling inside that lifts you up where you belong...

so...you can either wait to be swept off your feet or...make it happen :)

as for me, you can buy me with a coffee...you can even buy me with a smile...but i wish you could steal me with a kiss and run away with me to the end of the world...

i got a pocket, got a pocket full of sunshine

ain't it kinda funny how you go through life hoping to be happy...sitting, waiting, wishing...

then the first thing that makes you even the least uncertain of your already figured-out-life makes you second guess every decision you ever took...i think that the second that something new comes and interferes with the orderly chaos we've created for ourselves is close to disaster...i mean...really now...who can honestly say they enjoy waking up in the morning genuinely feeling like that particular day will have a huge enough impact as to change the outcome of their entire life? i dare say every day is monumental to the twists and turns your existence endures.

and what if someone, your parents for example, has your whole life set out for you...it's like they own a part of the forest, they've already taken a part of the inconvenient trees down, built a home and started a crop...then, when you grow up, they expect you to take over what they've started and tame tiny animals, hunt on your own and start a grow house...yes...this is the point where a big "what if" gets in the way...

so...what if...you want to have your own accomplishments?what if you've always dreamed of living by the sea? what if you want to start cutting down some trees on your own and try to see what's outside the forest...what if you want to work hard...maybe harder than your parents ever had to...because you have your own dream, you've got an idea that has grown bigger and bigger into your mind and soul and whose calling you can no longer neglect...what if it's not about having your way instead of theirs? what if you put yourself through all the wilderness so you can better appreciate what they've done for you...it doesn't have to be you walking your separate way for the rest of your life...you get out there, follow your gut instinct and chase your dream...grow into the upstanding person you are and take it from there...and never forget about the spot in the forest...and someday may your path lead you back to it so you can help it thrive under your command.

as for me...i've had life coming and biting me right in the ass...although i can't quite complain...it all turned out for the best: i'm single, in love and awesome...

so everyone, coffee's on me today :)