rehab

someone once told me that being addicted to emotion is as simple as being addicted to coffee or cigarettes...come to think about it...it was true...

imagine getting so angry about something...like being angry at yourself for fucking stuff up...once again...and you promised yourself you wouldn't put yourself through that ever again...yet again...you did it anyway...

now...think about it closely...why do you keep on following the same patterns over and over again? can't you tell the difference between good and bad anymore? or was that the part missing from your world to begin with?


or maybe...just maybe...it's all about the chemistry that goes on inside yourself...the reaction to a stimuli...may that be guilt, anger, frustration[ oh yes...there are living, breathing, walking among us examples of those type of addicts], nicotine, caffeine or THC.

be it as it may...you might have to consider getting some help! there are special places with rainbows and unicorns where addicts get the care and attention they need...

so go out there and find a cure for your itch!

if i just lay here...

there's nothing like trying so hard to get something done, trying to make those words just come out of your mouth...or at the tips of your fingers, for that matter...it's like it's there, inside your head, just waiting to come out...but there simply aren't the proper words to  describe it...

it's like trying to describe the taste of coffee in the morning or the smell of summer rain...and it's sooo frustrating...how could you possibly make other people see the world through your eyes? you can make them feel or you could simply tell your version of it...but how can you be sure you got through to them? 

deep breath, light up another cigarette, stop thinking about coffee in the middle of the night and focus! not on what you wan to say bu what made you wanna say it in the first place. take a step back and look outside your circle.

take a break and resume...

the end

it's like everything you ever hoped for was being sucked out of you...every dream, every happy moment, every nice thought...you can feel the warmth of peace drifting further and further away, but you can't even get restless, because, in the end there are no feelings left...

you wake up the next day, hoping it was just a nightmare...but wait! there is no feeling of relief...no sudden joy of coming to terms with reality...just void sucking the air out of the room...as you gasp for air, you try to go to your happy place, but you get nothing...it's blank...no sunshine, no ocean, no mojito, and, the worst of it all, no coffee...you do however have one last cigarette, but you decide to save it for later...maybe you cand still find something, anything to hold on to...

it's late, everyone's tired and you've just reached the end of the rope...

as for me...i'm holding the other end...

scary monsters and fluffy puppies

who doesn't want to wake up to a Prince Charming, a hot cup of coffee and an ocean view?

instead you find yourself sleeping in the dog house again due to your complete lack of coordination...how hard could it have been to get that task ready on time? but no. it's easier to postpone up to the point when not even a time travelling machine could possibly save your sorry ass.

but on the Upper I-don't-Give-A-Fuck Side, fresh coffee is being served every 30minutes, a line of charming princes line up in front of the door, and there is a pony granting wishes to anyone who can feed it rainbows...

then you can  always go to the magical land of Mass Destruction and Denial, where every bad thought is being washed three times with pixie dust, then it's left there squicky clean to dry...after a while you'll become so used to the whole process that blocking everything out will be your second nature.

in the end it's your land of choice...what's it going to be? a fairytale gone bad, or a cold shot of reality with a twist?

as for me, i'm fine up here, inside my head, cup of coffee at hand, wishing you all a very happy daydreaming!

from desireland with love...

as crazy as it might seem, given the circumstances, what most people want is that special someone or something that makes them tick...whether it's about money, jobs or hopes and dreams, anyone can say in an instant what they don't want...ask them what they want and that's when the tricky part kicks in...

we spend our whole life meeting someone's expectations...our parents, our teachers and, when we get to our own, it seems we've suddenly grown outta place and everything turns complicated and, after all, there's always tomorrow to meet your hearts desire...

then tomorrow turns into a month, a month into a year, then years start passing by and you find yourself, on your deathbed, wishing you'd get a do-over...

H. Jackson Brown Jr. once said
"Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did."

so...get out there, and follow your hearts' desire, do whatever makes you happy, do not postpone, cuz you might not get any other chance to do it ever again..take risks...sometimes they pay off beyond your wildest dreams... as Steve Jobs once said "don't live someone else's life"

go get yourself some...[feel free to fill in the blanks with your deepest craving ]

as for me, i've been...[feel free to choose from : better, in and out of love, inside my head, sitting waiting wishing, soul searching, ..., ..., ... ]

and, finally, I wish i'd have a huge cup of coffee to comfort me and keep me warm...